Warm as Breath
by janya.wrote.nightrose
Summary: Broken. But breathing. Or dead forever in a perfect lie of a heaven that abandoned her once and might do it again. These are her choices. New Moon era. Jacob/Bella. Three-shot. Please R
1. Chapter 1

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**(I Walk Beside You)**

** "Well, you can stay right here. Say you never want to see me again, and you'll never see me again. It's as simple as that," you say, and hear something else shatter.**

You think it's your heart, though there's no way to be certain.

"Is there another choice?" she says, so casually that it _almost _affects the euphoria that sends you practically leaping through the ceiling.

"Yes. There is. You can tell me what you want, and I'll get it for you. You can give me a chance to change your mind about love. You can come with me, right now. Leave this place, this nowhere, and never look back. Come to La Push with me. Live with my mum, or Emily and Sam, or I'll rent a room for you, or you can stay with me. Anything. Get a job if you want. Don't if you don't want. I've got one, working down at Jake's shop. Good business. Great pay. I can take care of you. If you'll let me."

You are breathless after making this offer. Your eyes close, and with that motion so slight it's barely a movement at all, you drift still farther from her, until you're in a little world of waiting, all alone, where no one, especially not her, can console you, as you wonder.

Again, she is calm and cool. "In exchange for what?"

A tiny sad smile curves across your face. "Nothing."

"Yeah. Right," she rebuffs, and for the first time you detect anger in her voice. The hand that's still touching her face falls to your lap.

You clench your fists and again restrain your fury. That she could doubt your love!

This time, only one obstacle can keep you human. You throw yourself into the abyss of her eyes, and fall there, watching timelessness spin past, seeing the sorrow that lurks inside her.

When you have connected yourself enough to speak, you say only, "I love you."

She rolls those overwhelming eyes, and so you repeat it.

"I love you. You have no _obligation _towards me. You don't have to return or even acknowledge my feelings. But I will always be ready to give you anything you want, whether it's a material thing or support or even just leaving you alone. I'm yours," you pronounce, and it's a fact.

You say it like one, not like some foolish lover's promise, broken in a moment as easily as water.

As an aside, that saying makes no sense. It is well near impossible to break water, after all. But it's something your mother always used to say.

And it sticks with you now, for whatever reason. This tie is not fluid as water, but solid as stone.

It will last forever, even if you have to bear it alone.

"So you're offering… what, exactly? Unconditional anything?"

"Pretty much. Tell me what you want. I'll get it for you. What _do _you want, though? You do have to let me know- I can't read minds."

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	2. Chapter 2

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"Jake, I have to tell you something."

"Is this going to be as much fun as the last time you and I had a deep and meaningful conversation? 'Cause I liked that one, Bells."

"No. It's not going to be much fun… at all."

"What is it? You can still tell me anything. Always."

"Jake… Jake, he's back."

"What?"

"You know… he…"

"Oh. The leeches are back in town."

"Not all of them."

"Just him?"

"Just him."

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"I'm sure you can…"

"He came to his senses and he wants you back."

"That's a nice way to put it, but… um, yeah. Pretty much. He says he only left to… to keep me safe."

"Damn him."

"What?"

"He _abandoned _you, for all this time, with Victoria on the loose, for your _own good? _He left you here, alone… Bella, I can read Sam's thoughts. I know what it looked like when he said goodbye. You were _dead, _Bells. _Dead. _He _killed _you. I saw it with my own eyes… and this is your own good!"

"He apologized… he really does feel bad about it, Jake."

"You can't expect me to be happy about this, Bells. I mean, yeah, I'm glad for you. It's good you aren't falling apart inside… you know I would do anything to fix you. But I can't be happy that you're going back to him after everything he did to you."

"What? Jake, what are you talking about?"

"Well, I don't think you're going to turn him down after you've spent the last six months pining for him. It just seems like an unrealistic assumption, you know? I love you. You know I love you. But I know you love him, more than anyone ever loved anyone else, more than the bounds of reason. And I understand, to an extent. Like Sam and Emily… sometimes we don't get a choice about who we love. You don't. I don't think I do either, Bells."

"Jacob Black, you stop talking right now or there will be dire consequences."

"Stopped."

"Good. Now I want you to listen to me."

"Listening."

"I approve. All right. Still quiet? Still listening? Then listen to this. I… am… _not… _leaving… you. Do you understand that?"

"You're not going back to the bloodsucker?"

"No."

"You're not breaking up with me?"

"No."

"You still want to be with me?"

"Yeah."

"You love me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"You really can be an idiot sometimes, Jake."

"Oh, my God. You're not going back to him. You love me even though he's here and he wants you back and you're still staying with me."

"Yeah."

"Bells… are you sure this is right? Are you sure it isn't going to… to keep hurting you? Because I'd rather lose you than watch you fall back apart when I've just finished putting you together."

"I'm sure."

"Bella-"

"Jake, I'm _sure. _I couldn't live with myself if I lost you. Besides, am I supposed to just trust him again? I _know _I can count on you. I love you."

"You love him more."

"… thing is, Jake, nowadays I'm not so sure of that."

"Oh. Bella, honey… thank you. Thank you so much. I love you so much. I… I… I… thanks. Thanks."

"Can't… breathe, Jake!"

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

"And sorry about… assuming you were going to go back to him. I guess I just thought that you were… you love him."

"Not as much as I love you. And the important thing is, with him, I get him, but I have to give everything else up. Everything. I can't let him be my whole life. Not again. And you'll never try to be everything to me. I can still have friends and Charlie and a real life."

"Of course."

"That's important, Jake."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah. He knows. He's staying here, though… in case… in case…"

"I get it. I might go have a little chat with him."

"Just don't break my boyfriend, okay?"

"I thought you said…"

"I'm talking about you, Jake."

"Oh. Right."

"You have no idea how much I love you."

"I think, as a matter of fact, I do. It may be almost as much as I love you."

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	3. Chapter 3

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"Jacob, what is… imprinting?"

"You sound kinda nervous, honey."

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not. The fact that you're nervous is leading me to believe you already know."

"All right, Jacob. I do. I just want to hear what you have to say for yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you imprint on me?"

"No."

"That's what I wanted to know."

"Bells, where are you going?"

"Edward said he'd be waiting. I think it might be time to let him plead his case. I don't want to be forty when the right girl catches your eye and _poof, _my whole damn life goes up in smoke."

"What are you _talking _about?"

"You're bound to imprint, Jake. It's part of how this pack is so different than the others. Paul, and Jared, and Sam, and Quil? Four out of ten. Emily… when she explained it, she said it was very rare, and it's starting to look like a rule rather than an exception… and Jake, the ones who've imprinted? It's the ones like you. With blood from the last pack on both sides, or through their fathers. You haven't got a chance, Jake. We haven't got a chance."

"Bella, don't. Don't."

"Don't what? Don't leave you before you leave me? Or don't get my heart broken again? I don't want all your hard work fixing me to go to waste. Not that you'll care when it happens."

"Damn it, Bella, _STOP!_"

"Jake. Calm down. You're about to phase."

"I know. But I'm not going to. Because I have enough control. I have enough control to… to quit. Right now, if I need to. If that's what you want me to do, Bells, I'll stop phasing this instant so I can never imprint, so that there can never be anyone but you?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Silly girl. Is there anything I wouldn't do for you?"

"No… I… I… I guess not."

"But I want you to listen, Bells. Listen. If I imprint tomorrow, while I'm still curing myself of this whole werewolf thing, while I'm still halfway to human, while I still can… it wouldn't mean a thing. I will never leave you."

"You don't get a choice."

"I've seen it from Sam's mind, Bells. It's strong. But it's not stronger than me… not when I'm fighting for you. I will never let you down. I will stay with you forever, no matter what. I'll never see anyone but you, Bella, and that's just the way I like it."

"You really can be a romantic… when you try."

"I'm not trying. It's just the truth, the simple, honest truth. _I love you, _Isabella Swan, and I would fight off a hundred vampires or a perfect soul mate or my own brothers for you."

"I would do the same."

"Yes. You did, didn't you? You gave up your heaven for me. Edward was like a dream… you love him the way Sam loves Emily. You only love me the way Sam loves Leah… or loved, maybe. Because you picked me over him."

"Yeah. I did."

"Life over death. Love over forever. And Bells, if I have to make the choice, you're what I'll choose. No matter what it costs me."

"Jake, will you marry me?"

"What?"

"I… I mean… not… Jesus, that just popped out. I thought I was thinking it, honestly, I'm sorry... I… know that's supposed to be… I'm supposed to wait for you… to ask me…"

"Bells, honey, get that ridiculous blush off your face. Of_ course _I'll marry you. Glad you asked. I wouldn't have had the balls."

"Love you, Jake."

"Love you more."

"Maybe… does it matter?"

"I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than I love anyone else."

"I love you more than the world, then."

"For our forever."

"No matter what."

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